I wish I could get paid for this

I like funny stuff on the Internet. No, I LOVE funny stuff on the Internet. I wish I had a job where I could get paid to read/watch funny stuff on the Internet or TV all day long. That would be my dream job. Since I currently have to work for a living, I will just show you guys some of my favorite samplings from the web. Feel free to leave your favorites that I missed in your comments. You may have seen some or all of this stuff, but that doesn’t really matter. If you’re anything like me, you watch them over…and over…and over…

Let’s start with a classic – Pearl the Landlord.


And next, something more topical. LIKE MAH STATUS!

Some stuff that aren’t videos? Ok. People have decided to get on Amazon and review stupid products with excellent sarcasm.

The Victorio Kitchen Products Banana Slicer http://www.amazon.com/dp/B001F5STWU/?ref=cm_sw_r_pi_dp_6LMKpb1H098XQ Sample review: “For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. “Use a knife!” they say. Well…my parole officer won’t allow me to be around knives…” Or the hardback How to Avoid Huge Ships by John W Trimmer http://www.amazon.com/Avoid-Huge-Ships-John-Trimmer/dp/0870334336/?s=aps%3DUTF8%3D1345230148%3D1-1-catcorr%3Davoiding+big+ships&ref=sr_1_cc_1 And most recently, Bic For Her Amber Medium Ballpoint Pens http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B004FTGJUW/ref=cm_cr_pr_top_link_1?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending. People are AMAZING and this will renew your faith in God. Literally.

There are roughly 257 (yes, two hundred and fifty-seven) hilarious pics on my humor pinboard on Pinterest. http://pinterest.com/biskithedd/giggles/ You should go there, THERE ARE SO MANY FUNNY THINGS YOU ARE GOING TO DIE. Not literally, but you know, like someone says “OMG Becky, if he calls me, I’m gonna DIE.” You don’t die, you just die. You know.

Also, I LOVE PUNS. And animals in hats. Have you seen the walrus that looks like the guy from Mythbusters? TELL ME THIS ISN’T FUNNY AND I’LL SLAP MYSELF IN THE FACE!

In closing I will say this – I feel this post is anemic. I didn’t even embed my favorite movie review, The Hunger Games…(Ok, here’s the link http://youtu.be/nGbRMT1i76c and watch the Twilight and Harry Potter ones too…hahahaha). I will close with one thing – my future sister-in-law’s contact image when the phone rings, and my favorite dog in hat of all time. I hope you laughed at least once. If you didn’t, see a doctor immediately.

Fart Trains and Mannequins

I have an interesting commute.  I try my best to stay off of freeways, so I take this lovely half two-lane half normal looking road along a rail route called Mykawa.  It has LOVELY scenery.  Most of the time I find interesting road kill: cows, horses, dogs, cats, raccoons, possum, deer, rabbits, and more.  One time, I was waiting at a light, and a coyote stops at the crosswalk, looks both ways, and crosses the street into the pasture filled with cows.  He/she definitely did not watch any Wile E Coyote/Roadrunner episodes.  I’m pretty sure this also caused one of the cows to die.

Other times, I see things that are WAY more interesting than that.

I’m driving, and to my left is a (handwritten) sign that says “OFFICE FURNITURE FOR SALE” in front of a house on the corner.  OK, I can get on board with that – maybe they came upon a storage unit or something.  I see what looks like a large crowd standing under the carport in the driveway.  Nope, it’s not a crowd.

Not a crowd. A party!

There has to be twenty mannequins hanging out under this carport.  Headless, posing mannequins.  Oh, and there’s office furniture – a bevy of desks, bookshelves, tables and chairs.  I’m so proud to have found this, I think…no way can anything top it.  NO WAY.

The next day.  YES – THE NEXT DAY – I come across what I consider to be my most maginficient find yet.  Ladies and gentlemen, and dogs and probably no cats (because I hate all of you), please let me me introduce the fart train:

Fart Train 4-Life

Mykawa has multiple rails that run parallel to the road, and I am not joking when I say I look for the fart train EVERYDAY.  I also look for other inspiring graffiti art that compares to the majesty of this car’s decor, but to date, I have not seen anything that comes close.  I’d like to think that one day, I’ll be driving along, looking wistfully at the parked railcars, and someone will ask, “Christy, what are you looking for?”  To this I will reply, “oh nothing, just the fart train.”  And that will be the best conversation I’ve ever had.

I see things before I even get out of Pearland too.  There is the tow truck with bad grammar:

You’re means YOU ARE. Y-O-U-R MEANS YOUR

Now, someone consciously went to a place and asked for this to be put on their business vehicle for one reason or another and that place said “OK yeah, this is what you want, right?” and that person said, “yes absolutely. YOUR late.”  I think a small part of my brain just died. DIED.

And the guy driving a Dolorian that decided that it would be a good idea to sit at a light and pick his nose so hard it appears he might be going for his brain:

Digging for 1.21 gigawatts?

So, this guy seems to think that either a) he’s not conspicuous driving a DOLORIAN so it’s cool to pick his nose at the light or b) he just doesn’t care.  I don’t know which is worse, a lack of self-awareness in  DOLORIAN (come ON!) or the lack of caring whether or not someone sees you digging for gold. 

And then once I get to work, I see the sweetest pair of Manpris I’ve ever seen outside of Disney World or Bush Intercontinental Airport:

To be fair, it had just rained.

These are so short, they cannot be mistaken for pants that are too short, and they are tailored in such a way that they cannot be mistaken for “really long shorts.”  The bottoms even flare ever so slightly, and it leads me to believe that these may even be women’s capris.  Like, he was getting dressed, and picked up the wrong pants because he fell asleep in his mom’s room. 

I really would love to fill a category with “STUPID CRAP I’VE SEEN ON MY COMMUTE.”  I have a feeling that now that I’m on the lookout, I’ll never see anything ever again.  I should probably stop looking. 

It’s been a minute since my last blog.  I’m happy to report that my grandfather (mom’s dad) is doing really well.  He’s home, doing things on his own, and more or less trying to get back to his old lifestyle of not having bacterial meningitis.  I still need friends to keep my other grandfather (dad’s dad) in your thoughts/prayers/meditations.  I hope this also ends my blog consitpation, because I’d really love to pick this crap back up again.  I look forward to your comments, and don’t forget to share the link!  I’d do it for you!  hahaha