You may realize by now that I speak in hyperbole. When I say THE MOST AMAZING THING HAPPENED TO ME, it may or may not actually be “the most amazing thing” and you could possibly walk away from reading this and think that I have lost my ever loving mind.
I went to Starbucks with my friend Tracy and got me a grande iced mocha non-fat no whip. That’s probably not important, but I felt like sharing with you what I ordered that cost over $4. I wish I invented Starbucks, where they charge you $4 for ice, coffee-flavored water, and milk with chocolate syrup. I’m probably getting off topic here. When we were leaving, outside the doors lying on the ground was the most magnificent thing I’ve ever seen. Lying there, all by itself, was a Heinz ketchup koozie.
HOLY CRAP I WON THE KETCHUP LOTTERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s like, this one koozie, was made for me, to be found, on this day, to make me feel like the only person in the world. I’m kinda glad Tracy was there to find it with me, because she is well aware of my fondness for ketchup, and it was completely normal for her to see me so excited about this koozie.For those of you who don’t know how much I love ketchup. There are sayings…”I put ketchup on my ketchup.” Well, it’s true, especially if you waste my time with that Hunts Ketchup crap. I will put ketchup on anything, but also, I was sharing this story with my friends and neighbors, the Vos, and they taught me about spaghetti ketchup and you bet your ass I’m going to be eating spaghetti ketchup in the near future. Whataburger ketchup? FUGGEDABOUT IT. I love that stuff. I can eat it as a meal. McDonald’s also has decent ketchup. Bet you never thought about ketchup until now, did you?
I keep emergency ketchup on hand. This is not a joke. I have ketchup in the car, in my purse, and in my desk. My desk drawer is pretty stocked thanks to those around me remembering that I need ketchup at all times. If I ever come across tiny bottles of ketchup, WATCH OUT. I will knock over anyone to get that bottle. My biggest fear is that I will be having a meal that will require ketchup, and I wont have it. In the drive through, “do you need ketchup?” THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS YES. ALWAYS. YES.
OK, you probably think I’m marginally or completely insane, but you know what? Have you ever seen an episode of My Strange Addiction on TLC? I’m completely normal. I don’t eat pottery, ashes, wear 17 layers of makeup, or get frisky with cars. CARS. I just love ketchup. I don’t even eat ketchup on anything really inappropriate except steak, in my husband’s opinion. Cuz he cooks it. HAHAHAHA
I’ll end with a close up of my prized possession. I love you, Heinz Ketchup koozie. ❤