Ok folks, things are fixin’ to get personal. I feel like I need to put this blog out for a few reasons. One, for my friends and family who know me, and who wonder why I am the way I am. Two, for those of us that may go through this same thing, and might feel ashamed or scared of it. And three, so everyone can see just how ballsacks bananas this thing is, and how there really is no way to fix it or control it.
I’m talking about PMS. And not just any PMS, the worst case scenario PMS. It’s officially defined as “Premenstural Dysphoric Disorder” or PMDD. This is the most severe type of PMS one can have, and for approximately ten-ish days of every month (yes, EVERY MONTH), you lose your damn mind. I’m talking, out of body, Carrie at the Prom, one move away from being on an episode of Snapped, crazy.
The National Institutes of Health defines PMDD as: a condition in which a woman has severe depression symptoms, irritability, and tension before menstruation. They go on to say that many women with this condition also suffer from anxiety, major depression (not just regular that comes with PMDD) and seasonal affective disorder (SAD…sorry…everytime I see this acronym, it makes me laugh inappropriately). There has been a push to categorize this not only as a medical condition, but also as a MENTAL condition. OK. I will admit to feeling totally mental during this time, but there is no real evidence to suggest that it is purely a psychological problem. There has got to be a physiological cause for this increase in…everything. Anger, sadness, anxiety, all of it.
This crap is horrible. HORRIBLE. I’d rather have corns on all of my toes than have PMDD. I’d rather have warts on my hands and elbows with corns on my toes, PLUS constant postnasal drip than PMDD. Let me give you a scenario:
It’s your average Tuesday. You are sitting at your desk. Your boss asks you how your morning is going. You respond with, “HOW DO YOU THINK IT’S GOING? I WORK HERE, WHERE NO ONE HELPS ME, I COULDN’T FIND ANYTHING TO WEAR THIS MORNING THAT FITS, AND MY DAUGHTER DECIDED THAT SHE DIDN’T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL TODAY!” He backs away slowly from your desk. Your phone rings, and it’s your husband. You answer, and he asks how your morning is going. You sob uncontrollably and he hangs up apologetically, saying has a meeting. Your mom calls and you just tell her you’re busy because you don’t want to take anything out on her because, really, she’s your mom. You IM your best friend and tell her that you’ve lost your mind, and your life sucks, and no one cares about anything you do and she placates you in every way possible and agrees with what she can agree with, and tells you yes, you have lost your mind. And you agree, because you are astitutely aware of everything that just happened and just how insane it is.
This scenario repeats itself for 10-15 days every month for the rest of your fertile years. Hooray for the next decade-ish!
If anyone tries to tell me this is all in my head, or it’s not real, you will be assaulted. For that, I am certain.
References (because we are legit, yo):