How many of us can look at another human in the face and say “I love my job”? I’d be willing to be that about 89.5% of us would not be able to. Maybe I’m cynical. I’m sure you will all tell me if I’m wrong. Let’s take a poll.
As I sit here with my current job that is causing me to have ulcers and chest pain, I got to daydreaming about real jobs I’d rather have. I’m not going to limit myself here…and I’m even going to make new jobs that probably do not exist. I’d also like to hear from you – tell me what you’d rather be doing.
Job #1: Professional Blogger. This job, in fact, does exist. I want to be Jenny Lawson or Jen Hatmaker. Wait, do I need to change my name to Jennifer? I want to run around in a Jenny Lawson skin coat and be hilarious. If Jenny Lawson is reading this, I’m just kidding about Buffalo Bob-ing you and HIIAMAHUGEFAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If Jen Hatmaker is reading this, I think you are too precious to steal your skin.
Job #2: Book Reader Person. I do this job already for free. I would love to get paid just to read books. But only books I want to read. You want me to read The Fault In Our Stars? PASS. But I did read Perks of Being a Wallflower, and I cried enough for both books. I could also be a “pressure your favorite author to finish the next book in the series” person. HINT GEORGE R R MARTIN. HINT.
Job #3: Social Media Spelling and Grammar Corrector. This job does not exist. How do I know? Because we have a generation of children that type-speak in SHORTHAND. How busy is your life that you can’t spell out the one missing vowel from SUPR? I’d also be on there/their/they’re watch. And too/to/two. I have to stop before my head explodes.
Job #4: Fake Review Writer. This job also exists, shamefully, however, I think I can get behind this. I am excellent at hyperbole and imagery. Any establishment would love to have me, good or bad. Want me to trash your competitor? OK! Want me to tell everyone that despite health department reports, you do NOT have slime in the ice machine? LET’S DO IT.
And finally, Job #5: Amateur Pinterest Pin Recreator. I spend an obscene amount of time on Pinterest, especially in the humor section. I do, however, love looking at food and crafts, and wondering if I could do that. I would create a whole new section of Pinterest called: Things that are impossible to make or Lower your expectations. People would be forced to pin things that are attainable by the average folk, and stop pinning all these gourmet-level recipes or expert crafts. A filter, if you will.
So folks, here’s your chance. Dream big. Tell me what you’d want to do, even if it’s one of my top 5!